puasalah.puasa itu mendidik jiwa.dan mengancam anak tekak.

bile puasa, semua jadi sedap. tak larat tak larat pun, bazar 5 km habis jalan- cendol, sirap,ayam golek-semua sapu. bile malam, teraweh memanggel-manggel, rasa macam berat saja mate nak tengok jalan. jalan kebenaran.

diatas tu semua bukan aku. aku g teraweh. sungguhpun ada dalam 2 3 malam yang terlepas, aku g teraweh. walaupun penat aku, tuhan saja yang tahu.hallah~macam orang lain tak penat.betul. semua orang lain pun penat. tapi diorang sume tak balik ngan ayah aku. derang tak naek honda crv bhm tu. diorang tak tahu cane aku tak sabar nak angkat kete sendirik, carik keje lain.

tapi bulan ramadan ni, bulan menahan diri. bulan mengawal nafsu. jadi aku pun menerima keadaan semua diatas dengan redha dengan fikiran 'things could be worst but it didnt'. mungkin klo tade crv bapaku itu aku nek bas g keje, tapi tidak. mungkin klo aku tak keje kat sini, aku sedang berenak-enakan di rumah tapi tidak (sungguhpun gaji tidak masok lagi, aku redha juge). jadi, ramadan kali ni kasi aku besyukur lebeh lagi. ramadan yang kutunggu.

tapi jujur aku cakap, satu hal ni aku tak boleh terime jugak. satu-satunya hal yang aku tak bley terime.

kejadian ni berlaku dalam jangka masa kemarin, dalam peak hour bebuke pwase. puase kali ni aku teringin sokmo nak makan tau fu fa.soya rebus dalam air gula tu. nak sangat. jadi aku minta mak beli tau fu fa kat bazaar pekan. mak pun beli. mak memang best. bile balik keje tengok ada atas meja bebuka, jiwa ni rase keriangan, kesungguhan untuk bebuke tu jadi membuak2.

azan pun bunyi.

aku pun buke.tau fu fa oh tau fu fa.tapi jiwa keriangan aku tadi mati.terus.aku jadi murka.

apsal tau fu fa mak cik ni tak manis??!!

terus aku angkat air semayang, solat maghrib. dalam doa aku selitkan agar mak cik tau fu fa tadi dikurniakan gula yang melimpah ruah.

amin.

oh how time goes

All year round,theres a couple of month that id be looking forward to; August and Ramadan.

August is practically my birth month thus the celebration. Why i anticipated august too is that, itll be colorful.Always.kot.aAt least in Malaysia for the last few years back.Why? Merdeka month people, Malaysia Independence day.Theyll have all this benderas and decoration all over places; on the car, across the boot, rooftop anywhere.But i noticed this time around the celebration aint that meriah.Not like years before where youd see car flagging everywhere.Id say its a rare sight now.Most of the cars going round town now seem blank and car-ry (or have i been in the wrong part of town i dont know).Like the usual month we spend every year.I gave it some thought and ive come to some conclusion that either maybe because the price of flags are expensive these days or they find it too troublesome too stick up a flag on their luxurious car.Or maybe people already got too many things on their hands now, h1n1,economic turmoil,stuff, that they cant be bothered by anything anymore.sad thing.

And how ramadans here again.Finally.Personally,im not too excited of having raya.Not quite the type to go for tat nenas, semprit, almond london and what not.Its just that,i dont know, maybe since its a blessful month,itd get very blissed.Pure tranquility.Theres just so much,how should i say,the value of a human, being expressed.The other side that you thought you wouldnt have.I dont know.It just seem so to me.Other than that,oh the bazaar.God youd never guessed how much we Malaysian are so diversed in food-nation.Its like the whole highway Karak mesmerised in tau fu fa, ayam golek, lemang, rendang, tepung pelita- you name them all.EVERYTHING.Peh.Im so thankful born Malaysian yo.So much for 1 Malaysia.

How fast time travels.Another year gone to be.And i still hate growing up.